Ideas for Dawdlers and Reluctant Kids and Weary Moms

by Erica Johns | Feb 5, 2015 | Mom to Mom

 

You’re burnt out on homeschooling.

Your kids are burnt out on homeschooling.

Your 10 year old son can somehow drag one math lesson out all the live-long day and STILL not have it all done!

 

Aggravated moms, unite!  You are not alone!

 

 

 

OK, on the count of three let’s all have a primal scream (into our pillows so we don’t scare the kids).  Ready?  One…..two…..THREE!

Phew.  Alrighty then.  Feel a little better?  Now that we’ve got THAT out of the way, let’s talk about this.

 

My stats:  Six kids.  5 of them are boys.  We’ve been homeschooling for most of the last 18 years.  So, you might say that I have a little bitty bit of experience with kids, dawdling, reluctance to get stuff done, and lots of other things (most of them are actually positive!).  There are many possible ideas for handling this at various ages and stages, but for today I’m going to address the 10 year old boy scenario.

 

Yes, I know.  He loves minecraft, hates math.  Loves Legos, loathes Latin.  His idea of fun is to figure out new and creative ways to gross out his sisters and mom.  He looks for opportunities to take breaks and fall through the cracks in your system throughout the day.  His schoolwork might not be completed by dinnertime.  Sounds like a normal boy to me.  🙂

 

1.  Consider taking short breaks.  I know, I know:  “We already struggle to get everything done!  We can’t take breaks!”  I feel ya, sister.  I really really do.  But hear me out:  More is not more.

 

Awhile back I read this interesting article.  Basically, some smart folks have figured out that  –surprise!–  human folks need to take breaks in order to have optimal productivity.  Yup.  For reals.  In fact, they found that for adults, the highest-performing 10 percent of employees worked for 52 consecutive minutes, and then took a 17-minute break.  Workers that actually followed a timer for working and breaking were 13% more accurate in their work, too!

 

So far I don’t know of any similar studies for children, but I would tend to think that children of all ages would need a shorter workspan than 52 minutes before taking a break.  (probably getting shorter and shorter duration of workspan as you decrease in age from teens down to preschoolers)  While we don’t know of any magic number right now, how about if you pick one and try it?  30 minutes of school stuff/10 minute break!  Or 45 minutes of school stuff and a 15 minute break!   I don’t know what will work for you, but let a break be your buddy.

 

2.  The Fun Break  You already know what they love to do:  Minecraft.  Legos.  Building Stuff.  Could you add in a long “fun break” or two during the day that allows for time to do some of these things?  Could you “power up” on this by piggy-backing it to something that they tend to dawdle about?
For instance:  Maybe your son takes a long time to do math.  What if you remove the power struggle over Legos and became his ally?  What if you said something like, “I can see that you love building with your legos, and I think that’s a really cool thing for you to do. I would really like to fit it into your school day, but right now it is so hard to get our regular stuff done that I don’t know if we can. Do you think maybe you could get all your math done from 9-9:45? Because then we could give you, like, 30 minutes to play with legos before we do _______. What do you think?”

 

I’d be all, “Help me help you, buddy.”  There wouldn’t be any trace of impending doom coming from me, because the truth is, I would LOVE to let him have a fun break in the day to build and think and explore spacial relationships and all that good stuff that goes along with Legos!  Really what he’s getting is time to do more enriching stuff that’s good for his brain.  But we call that fun at our house. Don’t you?

 

I’d leave it positive and loose: “Let’s try it tomorrow and see how that works out.” and then if it takes him til 10:00 to do the math, I’d say, “GREAT! You still have 15 minutes for lego building before we have to move on to the next thing.  Enjoy!”

And what’s happening during the Lego break?  You’re helping one of your other children with something that they need you for.  Or you get to rotate the laundry, go to the bathroom in peace, love on the baby, go see what’s in the mailbox, or whatever.

Yes, the other kids will want breaks too.  Let them all earn a fun break as well.  You might want to stagger them out so that you can provide one-on-one time with someone who needs it.  Or you may want to coordinate all the enrichment period breaks so that YOU can take a break too, mom!  (Yes, an extended vacation in the bathroom while checking facebook on your phone counts.)

Want to print this inspiring quote? Click the image to download a printable PDF.

 

What if he can’t get the math done in time for the enrichment period?  First, no shaming, mom.  Remember:  this is a child that is already struggling.  You want to help make things better.  Observe from a space of kindness and empathy.

• What do you see?
• Is he trying?
• Is he distracted?
• Is he confused?
• Does he need you to sit with him and encourage him along or personally teach the concepts again?
• Does he need more frequent breaks?  (It won’t hurt to try and see how that goes!)
• Is his chair uncomfortable?
• Is the table too high for him to sit at comfortably?
• Would a snack help?
• See what you can figure out to help him succeed.
• Could you adjust the time allowance?
• Would he do better with math first thing in the morning or right after lunch?
• Would it be better to do half the math lesson in the morning and the other half in the afternoon?

One of the wonderful things about homeschooling is that you have the opportunity to be mindful, flexible, and creative in meeting the needs of your children and helping them succeed.  See yourself as their ally and advocate, not their adversary!  They need you in their corner mom, and they need to feel it, too.

Want to print this inspiring quote? Click the image for a downloadable PDF.

 

3.  Easing Back Into It  One of the tricky parts of taking breaks or shifting gears in a school day is getting people back together for the next things.  May I suggest some transition tricks?

 

My Gather ’round collection is going to be awesome for this.  We take breaks many days to watch a cool or interesting video at the computer.  Often it only takes a minute or two, but nobody wants to miss it.  All I have to do is say, “Hey guys, who wants to watch this video?  It’s supposed to be really cool.”  They all come running.  I’ve got a zillion awesome, interesting, fascinating, and funny videos to share here that enrich, entertain, and inspire me and my kids.  Pick one or two or a handful each day to share with your kids.  Do it at the end of a break when you need to gather everybody together.  “Hey kids!  Check this out!”  Then watch the video, let the natural spin-off discussion (or freewrite) happen, and then refocus to the next item you’ve got in front of you.

 

Reading.  I love reading to my kids, and even at ages 11-16 they still tell me it is one of their favorite things that we do.  Rather than doing all the reading in one big session, maybe you’d like to read one thing after a break.  If they are still munching on their cookies and not totally ready for seat work, cuddle up on the couch and let them finish up while you read to them.  After that everyone should be settled and ready to get up and do the next thing.

 

4.  Finding the rhythm:  If you’ve got those dawdlers, my recommendation is to try out a work session/break schedule that is reasonable for your kids.  Remember:  adults thrive at 52 minutes of work/17 minutes of break.  Try something like 30-45 minutes of work/10 minutes for short breaks, and see how it goes.  These should be guaranteed breaks, not privileges.  Just like going to the bathroom and getting a drink of water, your kids, their bodies, their minds all have an actual need for a break.  So do you, mom.  Take it.  Enjoy.

 

Try offering at least one Fun Break per day that is a 30 minute session for your child to do something he enjoys.  Attach it to the schedule so that it is an if/then proposition for him.  If you can get your math done by 9:45, then you can take the next half hour to play legos or minecraft or whatever the popular item is at your house.  Whatever portion of the time remains when the math is done (including if he gets it done early!), happily allow him the remainder of the fun break.  If he didn’t make it this time, be sympathetic, see what you can do to adjust for success next time, and carry on with your day.  Help him have pockets of hope and joy and delight throughout his school day!

 

There probably isn’t one thing that will always work to solve this forever, but a fresh solution is good for however long it’s good for!  

 

If you give this a try, will you leave a comment and let me know how this works for you?  What other positive approaches have you found helpful in your own home?

 

 

[mashshare]

We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. We’ll grow.

by Erica Johns | Jan 30, 2015 | Mom to Mom

I’m so looking forward to connecting with you guys better!  This blog has been on my mind for many months now, and I have so much that I want to share with you.  While I do enjoy creating new Enrichment Studies products for your families to enjoy, there are tons of other tidbits and goodies that I come across that are worth sharing and talking about too.  There is so much juicy, awesome, amazing stuff to watch, see, listen to, think about, and experience!  We’re going to do as much of that here as we can.  🙂   I’d like to tell you about some of what I plan to have going on here at the blog:

Poetry:  I’ve had a real resurgence in my love for poetry and I’d love to share that with you.

Musical Mondays:  I enjoy and find value in so many types of music, and I love sharing that with my kids, too.  Most likely it’ll be a video. Classical, jazz, rock, parodies, ancient, modern, international, quirky–probably a little bit of everything.

Teach Me Tuesdays:  Did you know that sometimes it’s really good to be the student?  It is!  And that experience will make you a better, more compassionate and aware teacher, too!  I’ve been trying to take one time a week to have my kids teach me something that they know about.  It has been fun, interesting, and cool.  I’ll share about those experiences with you, and encourage you to let your kids have the opportunity to be the teacher, too.  🙂

Wondrous Wednesday:  There is so much creativity in the natural world, and I love to see it and share it!

Delightful Design:  Architecture.  Landscape.  Textiles.  You name it.

Fine Arts Friday:  We’ll take time most Fridays to check out something cool in the world of Fine Arts.  It’s a big, big ocean of creativity out there, with so much to see!

Give Them Wings:  I’ve got a soft spot for kids that have learning struggles.  Two of my guys have dyslexia, so we’re always on the lookout for helpful stuff for them and others with similar (and different) struggles.  My goal for working with my dyslexic kids has been to figure out how to help them learn and grow in spite of the stuck spots.  I’ll be happily sharing stuff that has helped us, or that might be of interest to families with similar needs.

Birthday Features:  As we have created so many resource collections, I have often wished there was a way to say, “Hey you guys!  Did you know this cool thing about this person?!”  Well, now I can.  Throughout the year you’ll be hearing about all of these noteworthy people, which will be cooler than you expect!  🙂

Mom to Mom:  I’ve got six children.  Two are grown.  I’m a mother-in-law.  I’m a Grammy.  I’ve homeschooled for most of the time since 1997.  Sometimes I have stuff worth saying.  🙂

That seems like a pretty long list for today, so I’m gonna leave it at that for now.  Needless to say, there will be more: freebies, recommendations of things I think are worth sharing, encouragement for you moms, announcements about sales and specials, and more good stuff will be included.

Here We Go!

by Erica Johns | Jan 26, 2015 | Mom to Mom

You know how sometimes you move to a new home, and you want to have a party, but first you have to get fresh paint on the walls, arrange the furniture, unpack the boxes, and get your pictures up on the wall?  And you want to do all of that before you invite people over for a housewarming party?

Yeah.  Me too.  That’s kind of what I was thinking about this new site.  I wanted to keep everybody all nice and cozy over at Classical Composers Monthly until I had everything over here on the new site all spiffy and perfect for you.  Well, what’s that saying?  “Man plans and God laughs’?  Yeah.  Well, that’s how it happened.

Due to a technical hiccup I was basically thrown into the deep end on this move before I was “ready.”  But you know what?  It’s not that bad.  I had a lot of fears about how the move could possibly go wrong, and although we did have *something* go wrong, in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t that bad.  I managed to fix about 80% of the problems myself already, and I’m sure the rest will get fixed pretty soon too.  Once I stopped freaking out about what had gone wrong, I realized–hey!  We’re on the other side!  We made it to the new site and nothing is irreparably damaged!!!

So, hooray for that!

I will be continuing to bring all of the pieces together for this wonderful new site.  My goal is to have this blog up and running with regular posts starting on February 1.  We will be having a lot of fun over here with lots of good enriching stuff for you and your kids!  I am planning a big Grand Opening party probably around Valentines Day, too!  We are going to have a lot of fun, so GET READY, PEEPS!  🙂

Love ya,
Erica